No 36 – Wear only dresses for a whole week at work

I wouldn’t say I don’t ever wear a dress but it is an incredibly unusual event.  I don’t like dresses and I feel very uncomfortable in one. I also have no idea about dresses.  Friends have asked me to describe the dress that I wore to my cousin’s wedding, apparently knowing what colour it is was not sufficient.  I have no idea what style, cut or material it is, neither do I know what kind of sleeves it has.  I am utterly clueless.

I have never worn a dress to work and my colleagues find the prospect of me wearing a dress to work every day for a week highly amusing.  I may only be in the office for three days but that is more than enough for me!

Day 3 of dress week, the final installment.

So for the final day of a torturous week my outfit consisted of a pair of black shoes with heels aboout five times the size of what I normally wear.  They were so high I had nosebleeds due to the higher altitude up there.  My feet were killing me by the end of the day, how do we people wear heels like that and higher day in, day out.  Some form of evolution that has passed me by?

The dress is a charcoaly colour with a repeating pattern of circles in a range of colours that looks like a kid dipped a few paintbrushes in different colour paints and flicked them at the material.  The dress upper part is kind of like one side wrapped over another and has a decolletage (guess who learnt a new word).  There is then some stringy bit that kind of attaches under the bust line and does up at the back.  I have yet to learn the purpose of this other than if you are not careful when you put the dress on you end up strangling yourself with it.  The dress then hangs down to just above knee level and kind of has some random folds at the hem, not quite shower curtain folds more net curtains.

The final piece of the day’s outfit consisted of a cardigan.  A source of surprise to most people was that the cardigan was the same colour as some of the paint splodges and therefore the outfit was colour co-ordinated.  What were they thinking I would do?  More to the point do they really think that the lady who helped find a dress that suited would sell me a cardigan that didn’t match?  The woman even managed not to laugh at me when I went shopping and she asked me what I thought of one of the dresses in the shop and my response was, well it is a dress!

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Day 2 of dress week

Todays ensemble consisted of a blazer, dress and the shoes.  The blazer is the now famous white blazer that has been seen on tv (a webinar is the same as tv right).  It has shoulder pads, eighties style, and a bit like an american footballers shoulder protection.  The jacket has no collar and comes almost all the way around the neck leaving about an inch at the throat (the reverse of a clerical collar maybe).  The lapels are flat and go down alomst vertically to the waist of the jacket.

The dress is black blue and white stripes, mainly horizontal.  There are some diagonal ones which I think are there to ensure that the dress doesn’t look like a zebra that has had an incident with blue paint.  The dress is fairly straight which helps to hide some of the lumps and bumps.  It has a high neck line that is round and kind of in line with the lack of collar line of the jacket.

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Day 1 of dress week and the outfit worn looks like this:

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The dress is blue with shoes that match and a pale pink cardigan (apparently it is surprising that I can choose a colour co-ordinated outfit).  The dress is like it is made of a wide strip of material wrapped around with arm holes cut in.  Subsequently there is a lot of extra material gathered from under the left bust, enough to make an outfit for a super model.  Technically I can appreciate the design, one size piece of material and just pulled tighter before stitching for smaller sizes, but what a waste of material, especially as there is a second ‘dress’ inside, which in the case of my size dress, you could clothe a cluster of super models.

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